weird comments

Doomful Online Dating: The Sex Poem

If you’ve ever had anything as weird as this as a *first message* on a dating site, I NEED to hear from you…

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Doomful Online Dating: Religious Indoctrination

To recap – these are messages I get from complete strangers. They are the first contact I have ever had from them…on a DATING SITE.

With regards to this one –  just say NO kids…

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Doomful Online Dating – 10th August

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Yes, you are right I’m still looking sexy.
No, however I am still not replying.
Desperate much?

Doomful Online Dating – 6th August

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So many of these I have got to start date stamping them in the post title.

Wasn’t interested in you the first time.
Days have passed and I am still not.
Shocking I know…

Mid-fuck Mutterings : Part 2

Pillow

Since my first post under this title, I have had some recollections of other pearls of the pillow…

– “Your chuff doesn’t smell” (Thanks, I didn’t think it did. Will you be writing me a good recommendation somewhere? )

– “Stick your finger up my bum please” (No. It’s hairy and dark…and I just don’t want to. )

– “Is this your bed?” (Er, as opposed to my imaginary friend’s?)

-“It’s just my flatmate outside the door, don’t worry ” (Is your flatmate hotter than you, as I’m keeping my options open.)

-“Can you order room service after, I fancy a sandwich” (Are you after a bread or person sandwich…?)