To recap – these are messages I get from complete strangers. They are the first contact I have ever had from them…on a DATING SITE.
With regards to this one – just say NO kids…
Mr Feline was named so due to his love of cats. I love cats too so this was a welcome quality.
Mr F and I saw each other for a good few months, things were generally ok and there were no significant issues.
Until last week, when he repeatedly forced his hand between my legs and touched me intimately without my expressed consent, when I was half asleep in bed. I was fully clothed and had given no indication that I “was in the mood.”
I feel stupid for allowing it to repeatedly happen, but at one point I thought I was imagining it like some sort of weird nightmare. And I felt guilty (as for medical reasons that don’t need to visit here) that we hadn’t had very much sex recently. And I thought he would stop. I was embarrassed at the thought of having to ask my partner to stop touching me. Or making a “drama” by saying no. Repeatedly telling him that I was asleep was not sufficient.
I left his house after the 3rd time he did it. I was so worried about upsetting him and prompting something unpleasant (as I know longer felt that I knew this man at all) I didn’t say anything. When I commented about his “attention” his reply was along the lines of “can’t blame me for trying / had to give it go.”
I spent the whole weekend in denial that it had happened. Then one morning in the following week, during my commute I started crying. I went to work, but the next day I took advantage of a private appointment to not attend work at all. It was that night I managed to get over my shame and embarrassment to speak to a few of my friends about it. The response was reassuring – it wasn’t my fault, I hadn’t given consent and he had taken advantage of the “lack of sex situation” in a very awful way.
When I messaged Mr F to end things, he apologised a lot but kept saying that he had “misread” the situation. He then said that he’d really miss me. This was somehow one of the worst parts. He couldn’t admit properly that he was in the wrong, and that there was a part of him that didn’t hear “no” – so it’s ok, right, to just access your partner intimately whenever it suits, basically? And sigh, how awful of me to break things off…
I hope to never see or hear from him again, but I fear for the next woman he has a relationship with, as he truly showed no indication of this character to me until it was literally too late.
So, one of my first posts was about a guy that was a bit of an Internet stalker. (And I said other rude, yet true things in my original blog.)
It turns out he wanted a second chance…And the above was the outcome of this, dedicated to all of those women that like to see a male ego crushed into tiny, tiny pieces. Then go up in flames.
Well. I will struggle with this as I’ve not been very good as a woman. Other women’s husbands…Boyfriends…Best friend’s brothers…You get the jist.
So I’m probably due buckets of bad karma.
Coming to the story behind the title…
I’ve recently been sleeping with a guy. Let’s call him Mr Square. As he was very square in his existence. Anyway I digress. On our first date he revealed he’d done a background check on me, including the particulars of my self employment arrangements. I was appalled. So I decided I’d sleep with him for the sheer hell of it – after all nothing was clearly off-limits.
So I started sleeping with him. Nothing to write home about, all highly normal in bed. Then one day he stopped texting. So I sent a message a couple of days later suggesting he was a bit rude, to which I got no reply. I am not in the habit of chasing what isn’t freely given on the personal front, so that was that. But, is this behaviour acceptable after probably about a month of having sex with each other, when you’ve not agreed you can treat each other like live sex dolls? No it’s not, and it indicates a complete lack of basic manners if nothing else. Have I ever done the same to a man? Yes – but there’s been a context of a row or similar – I’ve never disappeared off the face of the planet with no good reason.
And on the off-chance Mr Square one day reads this…Your flat smells of damp and you are unbelievably anal. Obsessive anal. Not the sex kind, or this would have been a very different story…