A Woman Scorned #1

“He had a biting thing” A Mr Obsessed horror story

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It’s been a while since I’ve blogged about Mr Obsessed, mainly because I still shudder every time I think about him being anywhere near me. But a flashback has come back to me so vividly that it’s making my toes curl.

Suddenly it’s reoccurred that he was a biter.

On several occasions he used to just clamp his teeth (all 6 of them, there weren’t many more than that) into my flesh. Usually on my bum or neck. It was never during any sort of passionate moment.

At no point did I express any sort of enjoyment for this, he used to lock his jaw and really clamp down hard into me. My reaction would always be the same, I’d clearly say (or sometimes shout): ‘No no stop please stop’. My body used to go into a panic mode and I’d hyperventilate which he said he thought was laughter, even though I said straight away, and several times, that it was unbearably painful.

It would get to the point where I would literally be reaching to grab his chin and forehead to try and open his jaw and get him to release me.

There were a few occasions where I’d be in tears afterwards from the pain, he found this hilarious. He’d often leave a bad bruise.

Clearly it was some sort of power fetish that he had. It doesn’t matter how many times I tell myself that if I was being abused (physically or emotionally) in a relationship I’d get myself out of there ASAP, but as I have written before, and will probably write several more times, it’s never as easy as you think……

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Dating Horror Story: Mr ‘Flash Your Tits’

A short bedtime story, apologies for any bad dreams caused:

I had been speaking with Mr FYT for a few weeks. We had met on a dating website, found we had some common ground, and that we had attended the same university at the same time. It was all very civil, so we agreed to meet.

On the agreed meeting day he asked if I had any venue preference. I said I had a long day at work so I was absolutely starving, he said he had something in mind so I left it to him, thinking he knew somewhere we could eat near the station we’d agreed to meet at.

Just as I was about to get onto public transport to meet him, he messaged saying it might be nice to go to the park and to bring a drink. I’m not big into alcohol but thought it would be quite nice to have a cold drink in the park on a hot summer’s day. Oh how wrong I was…..

We met at the station which was near the park, the conversation was awkward on the walk there. Then he seemed to be leading me to a very specific bit of this park, almost as if he had been there before…..

We sat under a tree, conversation wasn’t going well. It all ended abruptly when he turned to me and said:

“So, you going to flash your tits at me?”

I was taken aback, there wasn’t any great amount of chemistry, he hadn’t made any attempt at intimacy, but was just expecting me to show him my boobs.

In my shock I didn’t tell him where to go, as I should have done (hindsight is beautiful isn’t it), but said ‘not until you’ve kissed me’.

Which he refused to do, for about 10 minutes, he then got up and said we were going to a different part of the park, the sun was beginning to set at this point, we got to another very specific tree and he said:

“You can suck me off here, no one will see”

At this point I quickly said it wasn’t going to work and walked off back to the station, and never heard from him again.

The incident leaves me bewildered to this day…

And there so ends another dating horror story.

What has your worst date been? Comment below and we’ll share more of ours

Mr Manager- a workplace horror story

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Of all the times I’ve felt as though I’ve been taken advantage of, and put into a vulnerable position as a woman, Mr Manager is the worst for several reasons. He was hired at very short notice by my Mad Hatter of a boss (another story for another day). The first warning signs that he might be dodgy came across in his dopey the interview. My rather dopey colleague had asked Mr Manager which animal he’d be, and his answer was a Lion and involved some rather suspect comments about dominating women. It turned out I was right to be wary…

Within a few weeks he and the Mad Hatter (both in their mid 40s) recruited a young, generically attractive, shallow member of the team. They came out of the interview saying they’d found someone perfect for the role, and that I’d ‘love the way she dresses’. Which I didn’t at all. Quite simply she was a Tart.

The next month or so mainly consisted of Mr Manager never being at his desk, or when he was, Tart would be squatting (yes…squatting), down next to it and talking to him. He’d often turn up late or not show up at all for important meetings, armed with a load of unbelievable excuses. Here are some of my favourites:

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I mean, what the actual fuck?! All fairly transparent excuses when he came in looking hungover and smelling of stale cider. He never came into work before 11, and sometimes being near him would make me feel nauseous, as he chain smoked and sweated alcohol.

He instigated several highly inappropriate conversations with me. Talking about things which wouldn’t be appropriate in any workplace, let alone between a manager and a junior member of staff. On several occasions he’d talk about colleagues who he fancied, asking many of them on dates, regardless of whether or not they were single. His behaviour was escalating week by week. At several points he wheeled his chair round to my desk to ask me questions about whether or not I was dating someone, and asking for all the details.

There were three specific times when I thought of reporting him for inappropriate behaviour. One instance where he was sitting next to me, and touched my leg which had just been freshly tattooed, using it as a way to bring up the fact he was now dating a tattoo model (apparently), he then showed me a picture of her, in the nude.

At this point I must introduce the concept of Mrs Married, as the other two instances of inappropriate behaviour, occurred after ‘The Incident’.

I was quite good friends with Mrs Married. She was closer in age to Mr Manager than me, was married to someone quite a bit older than herself, who earned a lot of money, whom she had 3 children with. She often talked about how she was bored in her marriage, that her sex life was non-existent, and that she’d had a flirtation with someone else’s husband whilst on holiday with her own, she was trying to come up with a way to organise a meeting with Mr Flirtation when she noticed Mr Manager.

She started by telling me that she had this theory, that if a man has thick legs, it means he has a thick cock- I nearly vomited when she said this considering how repulsive Mr Manager was.

She started to strut past him whenever he was at his desk, like she was on some sort of catwalk for desperate housewives.

She started to email me asking if he was at his desk so she could time the strutting.

She soon realised that he wasn’t at his desk a lot because he was always out smoking. So she took up smoking, just to spend time with him! How fucking pathetic can you get.

The afternoon of ‘The Incident’, both Mr Manager and Mrs Married could not be found for several hours. As Mrs Married worked on another team, they grew quite worried about her as she’d left her handbag behind, and had a reputation for having emotional episodes. When we realised they were both missing together, it didn’t take long to put two and two together. But I was in denial that they’d have the audacity to do something untoward during work hours…

They both reappeared within 10 minutes of each other. I was immediately suspicious as Mrs Married was flushed a horrifically bright red. As was Mr Manager, but then he always had that alcoholic crimson tint. I took Mrs Married to one side and asked her if she was ok. She rather excitedly told me that they’d been for a drink (yes, an alcoholic one….) and that they’d snogged (what a word to use for two people of their age). This sat really uncomfortably with me. Little did I know, it was about to get worse…

The next day I was pulled to the side by an excitable Mrs Married, who showed me a text message from Mr Manager saying

“What are you doing for lunch? I’d like to eat you for lunch ;)”

At that point, once I’d swallowed down the vomit which was coming up, I asked her if she was absolutely ‘sure’ that it was just a drink and a snog. At that point she said that they’d gone to the top floor of the building where they hold weddings, at that time it was under renovation. And there, in an abandoned office she’d given him a blowjob….

Again I had to suppress vomit. Which was incredibly difficult to do as she then showed me that she’d put on stockings and suspenders just for him. She explained that they hadn’t slept together as she was on her period but now it was done they were planning to fuck that lunchtime.

That lunchtime, I went out for lunch with a friend who Mr Manager had tried to seduce by the lifts earlier that day. While we were out, I got a text from Mrs Married saying ‘he’s just texted saying that you’ve gone out so now’s our moment!’

On my return, I was again privy to all of the sordid details. They’d ‘made the beast with two backs’ as Shakespeare would put it, but this time in the private toilet in a senior member of staff’s office.

After this, there was emotional turmoil as Mr Manager then proceeded to completely cool off from Mrs Married. She got increasingly jealous of Tart, claiming that she can’t be prettier because Mr Manager had said Tart has a hairy back (how did he know…)

I decided as they weren’t continuing, I wouldn’t say anything. A few weeks went past, in which the two more inappropriate incidents occurred:

1. Mr Manager used my computer to print something, when he was ready to go to the printer, he took hold of my ID badge which was around my neck but his hand brushed against my nether-regions. I suspected he did this on purpose. I flinched and shuddered, I don’t know if he noticed.

2. Mr Manager crept up behind me while I was at the printer, lightly took hold of my hair from behind and said “If I pulled your hair would you tell your Daddy”.

I mean seriously, what the actual fuck?! That’s straight out of some weird schoolgirl porn. I was really quite shaken up by that.

The Mad Hatter returned from leave, within a few minutes of arrival, Mr Manager took him out (probably for a drink) for a long talk. On their return, they said that they needed help with an IT issue, took me into a meeting room with just the two of them.

Mr Manager sat there and accused me of being obsessed with sex.
He said that he’d been told that 90% of my conversation was about sex.
Dopey Colleague and Tart had made an allegiance against me to support this accusation.
Mrs Married had also contributed to these comments against me.

I was completely shocked, and really upset. It was blatantly an attempt to discredit me, in case I was thinking of reporting them to the Mad Hatter.

The whole situation was completely inappropriate, two middle aged men accusing a junior member of staff in her 20’s of being obsessed with sex.

And to have the complainant doing the interrogating.

I didn’t know what to do and had to leave work straight after it happened.

The next few days were awful, the allegiance against me were spreading rumours. I had no choice but to go to a step above the Mad Hatter, who investigated and found enough evidence to realise I was telling the truth. Mr Manager then resigned very suddenly.

Mrs Married then confronted me. Accusing me of having made the whole thing up. Saying she couldn’t believe that I’d ruined his life, and that she was going to be fired and ‘blacklisted’ from work, and I will have ruined her life and she has three kids…despite the fact that she had repeatedly said before that she didn’t need to work as her husband was loaded. A foolish thing to do as she was due to leave anyway, she ended up leaving a bit earlier than planned.

Gossip of the departures spread throughout the office (mainly perpetuated by the Mad Hatter himself). I was relieved that it was all over. But less than 2 weeks later, it turned out that Mr Manager had found himself another job, across the road!!!

As the Mad Hatter said: “That man has more front than Blackpool pier.”

The scars from this scorning are deep, and are not anywhere near healing, despite a year having gone past.

‘I wouldn’t kick her out of bed’, so why did you!

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It was about a month since my 4.5 year relationship had ended, it had been a painful break up. My self esteem was low. I’d been talking in a chat room on a dating site (depraved poisonous place as it happens). There was a girl who also lived in London, I was getting on quite well with her and on a particularly boring Saturday she was talking about going for drinks, so I met up with her.

We met in a pub, and straight away I realised she wasn’t the type of person I’d normally hang out with. Fake hair, fake nails, fake tan, caked in make up- but with a sinking heart I had to admit she got attention from men who wouldn’t normally look at me.

It turned out that day there was a big sporting event, so the pubs in that area were rammed full of people in various costumes. It didn’t take long for Miss Fake to engage in some tonsil tennis with a young man dressed as a banana. In my newly single state, the last thing I wanted to do was sit on my own while this was happening in front of me.

Thankfully after about half an hour Miss Fake and Mr Banana came up for air, and to get a drink. I joined them at the bar, where some of Mr Banana’s friends (dressed as gorillas) were gathered around. For the most part they all ignored me, I was planning my journey home when the drunkest one turned to me and said ‘I wouldn’t kick you out of bed’.

Miss Fake had already gone home with someone else, not the banana, so I went back to Mr Gorilla’s hotel which was nearby. As first sexual encounter with someone new in 4.5 years, it was awful. I had to utter the worst phrase imaginable to say as a female during sex,

‘Is it in yet?’

He passed out, I was far from sober so I fell asleep too. At one point I remember hazily hearing ‘Holy fuck he’s lost his V card’ and ‘This is going on snapchat’, back then I didn’t know what snapchat was.

A few hours passed, and then I started to feel myself being kicked in the back. At first I thought he must be kicking me in his sleep, then it got more persistent. The next thing I knew, I woke up mid air, seemingly in slow motion, and then fully jolted awake as I hit the floor.

He had kicked me out of bed, literally.

‘The first trains at 7’ he said, as I stared at him in disbelief. It was Sunday! It’s never ok to be awake at 7am on a Sunday!

That’s when I heard giggling behind me, and realised with some horror that his two friends (the banana, and another gorilla), were in a double bed behind me. They then decided to ‘enlighten’ me by telling me that Mr Gorilla was a virgin before he met me, and that he was only 19. At that point I demanded to see ID from all of them, and recoiled in horror as I realised Mr Banana was 17.

I got myself dressed, had a long walk of shame back to the station, where I then waited for an hour for the first train, which wasn’t until 8 as it happens.

I vowed never to wake up face planting the floor again, I’ll treat the next person who says they wouldn’t kick me out of bed with caution…..

Meet the parents: A first date horror story/Mr Obsessed mashup!

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By now you will be well acquainted with ‘Mr Obsessed’, a mutual ex who A Woman Scorned #4 and I have the misfortune of sharing. #4 has been telling you all about how they met etc, so I thought maybe I’d treat you to the story about how, my life got twist turned upside down….

It begins, as with many of my stories, on POF. He’d messaged me on a particularly slow day, I clicked onto his profile and to be honest was put off by his pictures. I remember he had a particularly horrendous picture in his boxers with a toilet in the background. No likey.

However, he messaged me a few times in a row, I was bored so I messaged back, it turned out he was literally around the corner from where I worked, so we met for coffee in my lunch break.

The conversation was good, he was also very cuddly which appealed to me at what was a lonely, vulnerable time. He wanted to take me out for dinner that evening, so I agreed to meet him after work…

We went for a walk around the park, this is where he started to kiss me every few minutes, and told me that he was going away with his job in 3 days, for 6 weeks.

A few things struck me as odd during the dinner conversation, not least the revelation that he’d borrowed money from his parents to pay for dinner, especially as he was in his 30s.

On the walk back to the station he started pressuring me to come back to his. Especially as it was only 10 minutes away from where I live. At first I refused, thinking he was trying to get into my lady parts with his (micro) cock.

However, persistence is one of Mr Obsessed’s key features, something which I’d grow to resent very quickly. I agreed to go back to his, but only for an hour or so.

When we got in the cab back to his house, he mentioned that we needed to spend about an hour talking to his parents. I realised with some horror that we were actually going to his parents house, he was offering me up as the new girlfriend, ON THE FIRST DATE.

I just about got through the hour long awkwardness. Mr Obsessed then lured me upstairs for ‘a cuddle’ before I went home. At which point he told me he loved me, on the same day that we’d started talking.

I went home having resolved to conveniently lose contact with him while he was away with work. As the level of intensity was clearly that of someone with limited mental capacity. If only I’d managed to stick with that resolution!

To be continued….

The Interview Date: Another First Date Horror Story

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This story is one that I look back on and wish I could time travel so I could claim the time wasted on Mr Interview and put it to better use…

We’d met on POF, had talked enough to know that meeting would probably be a good way to spend an evening and so we arranged to meet at a busy London train station.

Within 10 seconds I knew that he wasn’t doing it for me physically, so much so that less than a year later, I can’t remember what he looks like. But unlike my date from the last first date horror story, I’m not rude, so I decided to see it through.

We proceeded to a pub near the station, and as soon as we sat down I felt like I was being interviewed for my next job. He asked a series of questions so quickly that they seemed pre-planned. Every time I gave a response his expression remained completely neutral. If I asked him a question he’d give a one word answer.

Once we’d covered the topics of education, work experience, career, family and financial situation (so rude, I just responded saying that I work), he asked me about my music taste. This portion of the interview consisted of me going through his iPod to tell him what bands we shared in common. I did so, then optimistically expanded on my selection by saying I loved musicals, as well as 80s and 90s cheese.

At this point he put down his drink, looked at me very solemnly and said ‘I don’t feel as though you’re taking this seriously. ‘ He explained that listing his personality as ‘music snob’ wasn’t a joke and he could never be with someone with poor taste in music.

The date wrapped up pretty soon after that. When we get to saying goodbye he asked me, in typical interview style, ‘how do you think that went’, followed by ‘if you’ve been successful I’ll get back to you within 24 hours’

I’ve never been more relieved to not hear from a guy after a date…

Hello, Goodbye: A first date horror story

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I’ve been single for about a year and a half now. For much of that I’ve been signed up to Plenty of Fish, or POF as us unfortunate insiders refer to it. As a result I’ve gone on quite a few first dates, and have many stories of unsuccessful ones. Stand by for more first date horror stories, but for now here’s the first…

I’d been talking to this guy for about a month before we met up. We work in the same industry so had a lot to talk about, shared similar interests, all good reasons to meet up with someone.

He asked me to meet him for coffee after work one day, in a part of London which I prefer to avoid as it takes quite a long time to get there and it has a reputation for being a crime hot spot. Luckily, the coffee shop he wanted to meet me in was just opposite the station, so I felt fairly safe getting there. Just before he turned up I mentioned that I was quite nervous about meeting him (it was one of my first POF meets), he told me to take loads of drugs, as that’s what he does when he’s nervous. He’d never talked about taking drugs before so I assumed he was joking…

He turned up 5 minutes later and I was pleasantly surprised, he was a lot better looking in real life than his pictures had led me to expect! He sat down and we had a good sparky convo for 5 minutes before I asked him if he wanted to get some coffee. He said he had to go make a phone call quickly as his sister was currently in labour, and he just wanted to check if everything was ok.

5 minutes passed…started to think about whether I should get myself a coffee, decided not to as I was sure he’d be back in a second and he’d want a coffee too…

10 minutes…I started to think that it was a long conversation….I hope his sister is ok….

20 minutes…decided to go outside and look for him, looked up and down the street, couldn’t see him, thought maybe he’d gone to buy some cigarettes or something….

Half an hour…decide to consult my older, wiser friend (aka A Scorned Woman #3) on how to proceed…

FUCK, where’s my phone?!
Looked everywhere, it’s gone.
Mind flashes back to the comment about drugs….
Fuck, has he met me, stolen my phone and then run off to sell it for drugs?!

I go to the staff in the coffee shop, tell them in a panic that I think I’ve been robbed and they need to call the police. When pointing out where I was sitting, I spot my phone on the floor! It must’ve dropped off the seat…

45 minutes….I call him and it goes straight to voicemail, at this point I know he’s not coming back

1 hour…I call #3 and explain the situation. She tells me to go home. I do so.

2 hours post disappearance…I get a text from himself, saying he’d run off because I looked exactly like his ex and he’d had a panic attack.

Bullshit, he’d seen enough pictures of me.

Sometimes you meet up with someone and know it’s not going to work straight away. No matter how bad the date is, they’ve given their time. At least stay for one coffee, it’s rude not to.

And that isn’t even the worst of the first date horrors….

Daily Dating Disaster: Day 6

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I’m not interested in old fashioned values and the new era ‘combined both’. Knowing me better is never just ‘not a bad idea’, but unfortunately your apparent use of google translate, and total lack of aesthetic appeal means I do not wish to know you
better. BLOCK.