Incident Seventeen: List of people sexier than you

At one point Mr Weirdo started getting a kick out of letting me know he thought other women were more attractive than me.

Now don’t get me wrong. I know if you’re in a relationship you don’t stop seeing other people as attractive. But at the same time it’s pretty impolite to advertise, no, declare it to your partner.
He wouldn’t do it with strangers, only with my friends. He’d say things to me like, “Susan’s* a really attractive creature, don’t you think?” or sonetimes as bold as “You should grow your hair long like Lacey*”

One day he said to me, “Out of our male friends, list five of them you’d most like to sleep with”.

I didn’t particularly want to sleep with any of them so I laughed it off and tried to change the subject, but Mr Weirdo was oddly fixated on this point. He pressed the question unwaveringly until I started to feel uneasy.

I thought about my male friends and decided if I had to sleep with anyone, better the ones I trusted most. Falteringly, I named a guy I was close to (and would later almost end things with Mr Weirdo for). Mr Weirdo’s mouth fell open, appalled.

“Him?! No. No, you’d much rather sleep with Mick or Dan*” These two boys were considered good looking, popular, brash and charming. They were everything Mr Weirdo aspired to be. He would loiter near them at house parties, laughing a little too long and too loud at everything they said, looking for any excuse to be in their corner.

“Do you know who, I would sleep with?” He asked me, and without awaiting a response he listed some of the slender, quiet but attractive girls in our group. Not any I was close to, but the ones I didn’t know that well. In a way of course, this was worse, because the girls I was closest to I wouldn’t feel were a threat. I knew them. I trusted them.

It was another way of isolating me from the wider circle whilst desperately trying to get himself further in. He started drinking copious amounts on nights out, revelling in the attention ot got him. Even if they were laughing at him, better that than the idea of them talking to me.

As I mentioned before, Mr Weirdo had become involved with an ex friend of mine in the group. She was a horrible person, quick to use her female friends and run them down behind their backs. She was very easy to hate, which of course worked well for Mr Weirdo as all the blame for the affair was easily shifted onto her.

I let Mr Weirdo have his affair, like I said. I sincerely felt relief that he could sleep with someone else and I could sit unhindered in the background. I was too shy and unkind to myself to leave.

And then I met Scorned Woman #1.

* All the names in this post are fake/generic pseudonyms



  1. Happy you’ve managed to get to that stage. I look back at crazy things that happened in the past and laugh. 20/20 hindsight and all.

    Please do check out my blog. It will mean a lot to get your insights.


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